Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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