It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
