Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
