Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
