Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
