Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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