I hate your face
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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