My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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