I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize