She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Houston, we have a squirter
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
