JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
