grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
