id be glad to
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
