i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
how does that bad decision feel?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize