i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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