i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wear drunk well.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize