I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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