Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
