I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
