So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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