i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
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He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
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It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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