At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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