Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
