Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just had sex on a roof
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
