My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
