and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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