You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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