Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Jerry, you need to find god
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
