I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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