he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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