Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize