Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
