her vagine was all disorganized.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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