dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
