i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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