quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
