Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
