just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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