So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
me + whiskey = a bad person
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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