I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize