ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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