i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
