haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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