i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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