I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
