I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
