I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize