Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Someone came in the potted fern
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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