Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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