just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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