I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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