Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
