I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
