I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
