I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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