I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
