What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
